Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings
A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.
My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.
Swing hard, in case you hit it!
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
- H. G. Wells
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
- Lee Trevino
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
- P.J. O’Rourke
I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald Ford
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
- Rogers Hornsby
You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
- Sam Snead
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
- Buddy Hackett
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
- Harry Vardon
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
- Arnold Palmer
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
- Dave Barry
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
- Ben Hogan
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
- Jack Benny
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
- Jack Lemmon
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
- George Deukmejian
Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.
If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
- Sam Snead
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
- Bob Hope
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
- Ted Ray
I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.
- Muhammad Ali (When asked about his Golf game)