Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings
A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.
My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
Swing hard, in case you hit it!
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
- H. G. Wells
You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
- Sam Snead
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
- Lee Trevino
I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald Ford
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
- Rogers Hornsby
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
- P.J. O’Rourke
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
- Arnold Palmer
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
- Buddy Hackett
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
- Harry Vardon
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
- Dave Barry
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
- Ben Hogan
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
- Jack Benny
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
- Jack Lemmon
If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
- Sam Snead
I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.
- Muhammad Ali (When asked about his Golf game)
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
- G. K. Chesterton
Golf has produced a lot of millionaires…most of them are former billionaires.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
- Bob Hope
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
- Ted Ray