Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

1

Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz
3

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
- Billy Graham

4

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
- Winston Churchill

4

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
- Al Boliska

4

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
- George Deukmejian

2

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

4

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
- G. K. Chesterton

2

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson
16

I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.

Submitted by: David
0

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
- Jimmy Demaret

0

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
- Ted Ray

Funny Golf Quotes Quote: Golf is a fascinating game. It has...

0

To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

Funny Golf Quotes Quote: To golf or not to golf?? What...

3

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
- Jim Bishop

27

I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.

Submitted by: Unknown
8

If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.

Submitted by: RobertM
42

I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.

Submitted by: Hermit
5

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd
7

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic
2

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman
5

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN
9

Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.

Submitted by: RobertM
16

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM
9

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods

23

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau
18

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair

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