Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2


Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
- Ted Ray


I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
- Lee Trevino


The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
- Billy Graham


The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
- George Deukmejian


Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
- Paul Harvey


Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
- Al Boliska


Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
- Winston Churchill


Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
- Jim Bishop


I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.

Submitted by: David

I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.

Submitted by: Unknown

If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.

Submitted by: RobertM

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic

I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.

Submitted by: Hermit

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods


Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.

Submitted by: RobertM

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN

He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

Submitted by: Bobby

I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd

Copyright © 2006-2014 - All rights reserved.

Like us!