Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

2

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

2

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson
6

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill

3

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

17

I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.

Submitted by: David
27

I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.

Submitted by: Unknown
8

If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.

Submitted by: RobertM
42

I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.

Submitted by: Hermit
2

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman
7

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic
6

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd
1

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret

1

To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

Funny Golf Quotes Quote: To golf or not to golf?? What...

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5

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN
16

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM
9

Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.

Submitted by: RobertM
10

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

4

I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd
18

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair
24

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau
28

He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

Submitted by: Bobby
1

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

Funny Golf Quotes Quote: Golf is a fascinating game. It has...

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6

I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd
24

It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.

Submitted by: RobertM
21

His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.

Submitted by: homer
6

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson
99

They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.

Submitted by: Danny Chetty
21

Golf, a sport for the poor admired by the rich.

Submitted by: clive Ntuli
62

The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.

Submitted by: Liam
10

Get
Out
Leave
Family

Submitted by: Mike

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