Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

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3

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
- Billy Graham

3

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
- Ben Hogan

3

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
- Lee Trevino

1

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
- Lee Trevino

1

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller

4

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
- Al Boliska

1

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
- Jack Lemmon

1

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
- Arnold Palmer

1

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
- Dave Barry

1

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
- Ben Hogan

1

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
- Buddy Hackett

1

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
- Harry Vardon

1

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
- Jack Benny

1

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
- Jim Bishop

42

I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.

Submitted by: Hermit
2

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

7

If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.

Submitted by: RobertM
0

Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz
11

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM
2

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods


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