Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan
Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.
I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.
If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.
I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.
Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.
Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.
My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret
To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!
I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.
Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.
Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods
I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray
I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.
It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.
His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.
I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.
They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.
Golf, a sport for the poor admired by the rich.
The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.