Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
I love her even though she makes me do stuff.
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.