Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

6

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

6

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

10

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY
7

I love her even though she makes me do stuff.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson
9

Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson
5

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
16

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set
4

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda
3

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B
3

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana
9

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
6

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R
11

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

9

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
9

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross
5

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz
9

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.
7

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

7

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

3

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl
12

When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

Submitted by: DocSyed
5

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx

5

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
2

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
8

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

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