Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

4

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!

14

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

16

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

18

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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20

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man looses his...

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Submitted by: ramakochhar
26

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY
15

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

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Submitted by: payal
19

I love her even though she makes me do stuff.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson
14

Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson
9

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
24

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set
12

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda
10

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B
10

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana
14

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
7

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R
16

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

161

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

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Submitted by: Prady
19

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
13

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross
7

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz
14

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.
11

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

14

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

10

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl

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