Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
I love her even though she makes me do stuff.
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.
A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.
A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.
Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.