Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marrying for sex is like flying to...

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When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
Helen Rowland

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: When you see a married couple walking...

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Helen Rowland

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Before marriage, a man will lie awake...

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When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
Helen Rowland

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: When a girl marries, she exchanges the...

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Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising
Edgar Watson Howe

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a good deal like a...

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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: My marriage is on the rocks again,...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: It’s tough to stay married. My wife...

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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield

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