Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

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Submitted by: Prady

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man looses his...

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Submitted by: ramakochhar

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Husband is the HEAD of the family...

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Submitted by: payal

A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!

Submitted by: Earl Jones

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Submitted by: Amrik Singh

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Submitted by: John

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

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Submitted by: Jack

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.

Submitted by: Alex

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Submitted by: Freddy

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Women marry men hoping they will change....

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Submitted by: Jake

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a workshop…where husband works &...

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