Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

15

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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161

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

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Submitted by: Prady
14

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Husband is the HEAD of the family...

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Submitted by: payal
19

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man looses his...

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Submitted by: ramakochhar
9

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Submitted by: Amrik Singh
11

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Submitted by: John
0

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Submitted by: Juknow
6

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Women marry men hoping they will change....

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Submitted by: Jake
7

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex
13

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.

Submitted by: Alex
7

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R
3

Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.

Submitted by: prashant
17

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

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Submitted by: Jack
3

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

45

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80
3

Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.

Submitted by: sujeet kumar
13

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie
3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

3

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo
2

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

3

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

3

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

18

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Submitted by: Freddy
25

A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!

Submitted by: Earl Jones

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