Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Funniest contradicting phrases:
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!