Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Funniest contradicting phrases:
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.