Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
- Bill Maher
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
Funniest contradicting phrases:
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.
Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.