Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

14

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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160

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

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Submitted by: Prady
18

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man looses his...

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Submitted by: ramakochhar
13

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Husband is the HEAD of the family...

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Submitted by: payal
9

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Submitted by: Amrik Singh
11

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Submitted by: John
6

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex
0

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Submitted by: Juknow
6

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Women marry men hoping they will change....

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Submitted by: Jake
13

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.

Submitted by: Alex
7

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R
3

Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.

Submitted by: prashant
17

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

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Submitted by: Jack
3

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

45

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80
3

Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.

Submitted by: sujeet kumar
13

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie
3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

3

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo
3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

3

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

3

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

18

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Submitted by: Freddy
25

A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!

Submitted by: Earl Jones
2

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

16

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba
18

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen
15

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack
2

You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.

Submitted by: George Valentine

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