Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

81 Comments to “Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings”

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21. Freddy wrote on 8 April, 2010
Vote: 62 6

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
22. Jack wrote on 12 May, 2010
Vote: 49 8

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
23. Jack wrote on 12 May, 2010
Vote: 64 10

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
24. Nicole wrote on 20 May, 2010
Vote: 22 10

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
25. Ridhima Shukla wrote on 25 May, 2010
Vote: 9 31

Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!
26. supriya wrote on 1 June, 2010
Vote: 30 6

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
27. Jake wrote on 21 June, 2010
Vote: 34 2

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
28. John wrote on 31 July, 2010
Vote: 63 3

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
29. Malik wrote on 3 August, 2010
Vote: 10 32

Marriage. Man’s worst nightmare.
30. payal wrote on 9 August, 2010
Vote: 79 6

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
31. CRILLBO wrote on 24 August, 2010
Vote: 25 9

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
32. Darkside wrote on 6 September, 2010
Vote: 39 7

It seems like I was only married yesterday…………..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
33. Ralph ABK6 wrote on 21 September, 2010
Vote: 14 3

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
34. Bob Bedford wrote on 28 November, 2010
Vote: 22 4

Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose-colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
35. Amrik Singh wrote on 1 December, 2010
Vote: 48 2

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… wives want both!
36. Richo Chango wrote on 7 January, 2011
Vote: 18 71

The secret to a good marriage is….. Divorce!!
37. William Mocca wrote on 11 January, 2011
Vote: 13 3

Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
38. Siddharth Manchanda wrote on 14 January, 2011
Vote: 24 8

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
39. Alex wrote on 16 January, 2011
Vote: 33 3

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married
40. Alex wrote on 16 January, 2011
Vote: 60 3

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.