Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Submitted by: Nii ofori

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

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