Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

18

When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

Submitted by: DocSyed
10

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

6

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
6

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
12

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf
9

Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.

Submitted by: George Valentine
5

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha
26

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio
11

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo
5

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro
4

I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.

Submitted by: vikram
8

Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.

Submitted by: berline joseph
4

A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.

Submitted by: Santam
0

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Submitted by: Juknow
17

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

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Submitted by: Jack
3

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj
14

Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.

Submitted by: Haider
14

Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.

Submitted by: kathleen
5

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel
11

“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.

Submitted by: GEORGE VALENTINE
3

You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.

Submitted by: George Valentine
3

For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.

Submitted by: Santosh Jindal
6

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin
12

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9
12

Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.

Submitted by: dsgidden

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