Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.
Women marry for prosperity, development and security whereas men marry for enjoyment, destruction and insecurity.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
9 out of 10 men are cheating on their wife, and there is one more who is still hesitating.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
Falling in love is a beautiful experience; Marriage is hitting the rock bottom reality.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
They say marriage is life, they also say life ain’t fair.
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.
If marriages are made in heaven…
Then it’s obvious that someone up there doesn’t like us.
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Marriage is, above all else, the leading cause of divorce.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Congrats, you’re married but for how long again???
Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.