Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Submitted by: Nii ofori

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Submitted by: Mr.QuiLnet

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

Submitted by: ratnadeep

Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.

Submitted by: kygman

Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

Submitted by: Maximillian

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda

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