Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
– Groucho Marx
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.
A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.
A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.
Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.
You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.