Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Submitted by: Mr.QuiLnet

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Submitted by: Nii ofori

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

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