Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.
A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.
A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.
Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.
You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.
Women marry for prosperity, development and security whereas men marry for enjoyment, destruction and insecurity.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
9 out of 10 men are cheating on their wife, and there is one more who is still hesitating.