Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

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A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

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Submitted by: Prady

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Let us now set forth one of...

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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl

When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

Submitted by: DocSyed

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.

Submitted by: George Valentine

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro

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