Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: I told my wife the truth. I...

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A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Chris Rock

If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting.
Colette

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: If he’s getting married, he’s not longer...

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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Only married people understand you can be...

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Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Bride, n. – A woman with a...

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Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by...

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