Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Chris Rock

If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock

Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Submitted by: ramakochhar

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Submitted by: payal

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