Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

18

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen
4

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo
75

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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4

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman

5

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

9

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

10

Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.

Submitted by: kygman
4

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

12

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya
5

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

5

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

4

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

4

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

4

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

6

Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!

Submitted by: Bob Bedford
5

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

4

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

5

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

5

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

10

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

12

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner


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