Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
- Robert Frost
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
- Sam Kinison
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
- Natalie Wood
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.