Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

Submitted by: ratnadeep
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Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

Submitted by: Maximillian

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside

Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.

Submitted by: kygman

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

Submitted by: Siddharth Manchanda

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

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