Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

Submitted by: ratnadeep
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It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside

Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.

Submitted by: kygman

Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

Submitted by: Maximillian

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

Submitted by: Siddharth Manchanda
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

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