Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Congrats, you’re married but for how long again???
Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
I found another word for slave… Groom
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
Funniest contradicting phrases:
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
Marriage. Man’s worst nightmare.
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.
Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.