Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner
Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
– Groucho Marx