Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
I found another word for slave… Groom
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
Funniest contradicting phrases:
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
Marriage. Man’s worst nightmare.
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.
Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get in it, it ain’t so hot.
Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.
Marriage rocks! as in a rocky mountain…
Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.
One day the thunderbolt will hit you, and if you survive that you’ll make the dumb mistake of getting married.
Marriages are made in heaven but they make hell on earth.
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Marriage changes Everything!…..Suddenly your in Bed with A Relative!
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOUR DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
I now truly believe “happily married” is an oxymoron.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!