Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

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Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

12

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

4

Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.

Submitted by: William Mocca
5

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

5

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

14

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside
5

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

5

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

10

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

3

For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.

Submitted by: Santosh Jindal
10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

6

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

11

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

8

I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.

Submitted by: Toks
23

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa
6

Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

Submitted by: AAMIR
3

Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.

Submitted by: Samuel
12

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– James Holt McGavran

12

Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.

Submitted by: casey
6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx


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