Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

10

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

5

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

5

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

5

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

10

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

22

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa
10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

4

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl
6

I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.

Submitted by: Toks
5

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

11

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– James Holt McGavran

14

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside
7

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda
11

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

6

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

6

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

4

Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.

Submitted by: William Mocca
11

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

Submitted by: Siddharth Manchanda
12

Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.

Submitted by: casey
3

Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.

Submitted by: Samuel
6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.


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