Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Submitted by: Prady

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

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