Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.