Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
– Elbert Hubbard
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
– Groucho Marx
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– James Holt McGavran
Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
– Groucho Marx