Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3


Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard


Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

Submitted by: Maximillian

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.


Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton


The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams


For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.

Submitted by: Santosh Jindal

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner


Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.


Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin


The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

Submitted by: Randall

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx


My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols


Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran


You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.


Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman


The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman


Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.

Submitted by: William Mocca

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