Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.