Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.