Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
- Evelyn Hendrickson
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner