Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?” The woman said “NO!” Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted. “THE END” (…true story)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – Sacha Guitry
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too. – Henry Louis Mencken
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. – Patrick Murray
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park. BUT the problem is: . .. … that the park is Jurassic!
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. – Max Kauffmann
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
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