Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken