Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

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The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Submitted by: kapil

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is an adventure, like going to...

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

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