Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.

Submitted by: casey

Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.

Submitted by: prashant

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.

Submitted by: Toks

Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!

Submitted by: Bob Bedford

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set

I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.

Submitted by: shalala

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.

Submitted by: sujeet kumar

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

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