Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
– Elbert Hubbard
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
– Chris Rock
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman