Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl

When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

Submitted by: DocSyed

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.

Submitted by: George Valentine

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro

I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.

Submitted by: vikram

Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.

Submitted by: berline joseph

A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.

Submitted by: Santam

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