Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

Submitted by: Rhonda

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: A man marries a woman hoping she...

Submitted by: K.R
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Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Wife: honey I want you to whisper...

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

Submitted by: Prady
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Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Make love and not war Or, find...

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
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