Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro

I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.

Submitted by: vikram

Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait.
Daughter: Really what was you’re dream.
Mom: To be single and childless.

Submitted by: berline joseph

A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.

Submitted by: Santam

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Submitted by: Juknow

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

Submitted by: Jack

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj
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Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.

Submitted by: Haider

Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.

Submitted by: kathleen

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel

“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.

Submitted by: GEORGE VALENTINE

You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.

Submitted by: George Valentine

For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.

Submitted by: Santosh Jindal

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.

Submitted by: dsgidden

Women marry for prosperity, development and security whereas men marry for enjoyment, destruction and insecurity.

Submitted by: raina

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