Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)