Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.