Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.