Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
– Mae West
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
Marriage is a jail with out bail.