Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?” The woman said “NO!” Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted. “THE END” (…true story)
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – Sacha Guitry
A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too. – Henry Louis Mencken
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park. BUT the problem is: . .. … that the park is Jurassic!
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. – Patrick Murray
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. – Max Kauffmann
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
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