Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

5

Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

Submitted by: AAMIR
5

My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.

Submitted by: Danielle
10

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Submitted by: Jamie K.
17

African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Submitted by: Nii ofori
6

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

2

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro
12

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

6

Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!

Submitted by: Frank Nigel
6

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

4

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

Submitted by: Randall
9

I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.

Submitted by: shalala
7

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

11

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7

Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?

Submitted by: jamal nasr
7

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B
5

The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.

Submitted by: Leo
7

Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

Submitted by: Ed
7

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly

16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

8

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Submitted by: kapil
6

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana
25

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

Submitted by: ratnadeep
11

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

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