Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?