Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
For happy married life men must remember: when you are wrong confess immediately, when right keep mum.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen
You have got to get married you just can’t go through life enjoying yourself.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!