Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
– Mae West
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.