Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.