Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.