Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”