Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

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My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?

Submitted by: jamal nasr

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

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Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Bride, n. – A woman with a...

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Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

Submitted by: Ed

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!

Submitted by: Frank Nigel

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