Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost