Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

Submitted by: AAMIR

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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