Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann