Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?

Submitted by: jamal nasr

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

Advertisements

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote