Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
– Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
– Groucho Marx
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner