Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

Submitted by: AAMIR

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.

Submitted by: Danielle

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: A man’s wife has more power over...

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

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