Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 5

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

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Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

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I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
– Sam Kinison

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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
– Groucho Marx

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

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I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

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Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

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Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

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Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

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Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby

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Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

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The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner

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Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

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Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
– Ambrose Bierce

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