Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

Submitted by: AAMIR

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Submitted by: Dennis Mapfumo

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

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