Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
that the park is Jurassic!
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison
Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman