Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Funniest contradicting phrases:
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.
The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
Marriage. Man’s worst nightmare.
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.