Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: My wife swept me off my feet...

Submitted by: Larry Gross
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Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and...

Submitted by: Jamie K.
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: I love being married. It’s so great...

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Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl

When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

Submitted by: DocSyed

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Some people claim that marriage interferes with...

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Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri

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