Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!