Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

6

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
23

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
8

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly

8

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6
14

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret

3

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA
1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

13

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO
14

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B
5

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel
5

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha
9

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
6

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
12

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf
2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

9

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle
13

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

14

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole
9

I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.

Submitted by: tushar
5

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro
6

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin
8

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi
14

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl
12

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana

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