Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!