Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
100% of divorces start in marriage.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
– Groucho Marx
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Marriage is a jail with out bail.