Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

12

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9
9

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Submitted by: kapil
8

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly

8

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl
19

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret

3

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA
1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

12

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
13

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO
7

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz
5

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
9

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana
2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

13

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole
8

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle
5

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha
11

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

6

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
8

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
9

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha
11

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf
5

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel
6

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin
7

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi

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