Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

7

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank
13

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

15

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

6

There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.

Submitted by: shirley
7

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6
17

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret

3

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA
12

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO
1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

4

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha
11

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
6

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz
2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski

13

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole
8

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx

9

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

5

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
8

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle
8

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
9

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha
5

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel
6

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
6

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin
12

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

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