Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.