Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

7

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank
6

There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.

Submitted by: shirley
14

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

7

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6
16

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret

3

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA
6

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz
18

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

4

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha
11

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray
13

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO
9

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski

13

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole
5

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan
8

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle
8

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack
9

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha
5

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel
6

Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri
6

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin
9

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx

12

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

Copyright © 2006-2014 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!