Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5


You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

Submitted by: Brandon B

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly


Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret


Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.

Submitted by: tushar

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski


Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx


Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel

An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.

Submitted by: vamsi

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)


When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby


In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!


Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.

Submitted by: ritesh

Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.

Submitted by: Just a girl

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha

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