Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
– Mae West
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
100% of divorces start in marriage.