Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5


Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

Submitted by: Ed

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx


The decision to stay unmarried is the beginning of wisdom.

Submitted by: Leo

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)


Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West


Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret


Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

Submitted by: Aswin

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby


Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.

Submitted by: vikram

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi

Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.

Submitted by: ritesh

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

Copyright © 2006-2014 - All rights reserved.

Like us!