Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
– Groucho Marx
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!
Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.