Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!