Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5


The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

Submitted by: ratnadeep

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

Submitted by: DroidTsuenik9

There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.

Submitted by: shirley

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret


Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!

Submitted by: Ken Murray

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Submitted by: ANGELA

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West


Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.

Submitted by: Mariano Munoz

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx


Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.

Submitted by: vamsi

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby


I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski


Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.

Submitted by: yuri

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel

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