Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
– Mae West
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
– Groucho Marx