Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Chinese proverb: Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those on the outside want in, and those on the inside want out.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
– Mae West
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
I married Miss Right. Didn’t know her first name was Always.
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.