Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

46

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80
28

These are great Ihope you don’t mind if I share them… I sent you a cup of coffee to enjoy… Thank you for the smiles and laughs…I needed them.

Submitted by: marianne lathrop
3

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

18

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

12

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

5

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

4

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

5

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

3

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

5

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

5

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

3

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

6

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

9

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

10

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

4

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

10

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

6

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.


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