Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
– Groucho Marx
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
– Elbert Hubbard
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray