Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

80

I now truly believe “happily married” is an oxymoron.

Submitted by: Paco
59

“Marriage is like a work; it’s routinary to serve your partner everyday.”

Submitted by: Lady Cristel Tesorero Macasaet
46

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80
28

These are great Ihope you don’t mind if I share them… I sent you a cup of coffee to enjoy… Thank you for the smiles and laughs…I needed them.

Submitted by: marianne lathrop
3

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

12

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

18

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

8

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly

4

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

5

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

7

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

11

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

5

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

4

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

5

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

3

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

5

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.


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