Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Submitted by: kapil

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
– Beverly Nichols

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?

Submitted by: jamal nasr

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj

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