Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

1

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

11

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
- Max Kauffmann

6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton

4

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
- Patrick Murray

3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
- Robert Frost

4

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

11

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran

6

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman

5

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

7

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

7

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly

4

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
- Henry Louis Mencken

5

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

6

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx

10

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
- Evelyn Hendrickson

4

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
- Sam Kinison


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