Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

1

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

11

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

5

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

4

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
- Max Kauffmann

6

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

6

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

6

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx

11

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
- Evelyn Hendrickson

4

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
- Sam Kinison

3

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
- Natalie Wood

5

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
- Beverly Nichols

3

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

5

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

5

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

3

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

6

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

9

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

10

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams

4

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

10

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard


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