Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 6
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
Marriage is like a jacuzzi, it’s hot until you get used to it.
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.
Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.
They say marriage is life, they also say life ain’t fair.
Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.
A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Marriages are made in heaven but they make hell on earth.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.
9 out of 10 men are cheating on their wife, and there is one more who is still hesitating.
Marriage is, above all else, the leading cause of divorce.
Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…
“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.
Man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
I love her even though she makes me do stuff.
Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
– Ambrose Bierce