Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!

Submitted by: Jack

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

Submitted by: Ed

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote