Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.

Submitted by: Raj

Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.

Submitted by: munaf

Man: I wear the pants in the relationship.
Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!

Submitted by: Hillary and Frank

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

Submitted by: Ed

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Submitted by: Juknow

My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.

Submitted by: Danielle

Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!

Submitted by: Frank Nigel

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

Copyright © 2006-2016 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote