Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Married men live longer, but they are also more willing to die in more than one way!
I haven’t spoken to my wife for many years. I love her so much that I don’t like to interrupt her.
Why all married men go to heaven?
Because they cannot be in hell twice.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
– Ambrose Bierce
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
– Bill Cosby
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.