Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 7

5

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

5

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”

3

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

6

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

9

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

10

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
– Joey Adams

4

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

10

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

5

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

4

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

5

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield

5

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

4

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

4

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

4

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

4

A husband’s last words should always be ‘OK buy it’.

2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret


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