Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly
Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.
A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.
Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Ogden Nash
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret
My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!
Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?
Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.
100% of divorces start in marriage.
Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power
Marriage is a jail with out bail.
An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.
Marriages are made in heaven but they make hell on earth.
Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.
Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.