Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

Submitted by: Randall

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly

Marriage is like birds in a cage, those who are inside are struggling to get out and those who are outside are struggling to get in.

Submitted by: Samuel

A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.

Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.

Submitted by: ritesh

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Ogden Nash

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret

My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

Submitted by: Larry Gross

Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

Submitted by: Dan

Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

Submitted by: naomi

100% of divorces start in marriage.

Submitted by: Cecil Turtle

Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power

Submitted by: Zuheily

Marriage is a jail with out bail.

Submitted by: arabind jha

An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.

Submitted by: vamsi

Marriages are made in heaven but they make hell on earth.

Submitted by: ramakochhar

Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

Submitted by: rasha

Marriage is a sacred institution, everyone who does it ends up with their own private room eventually.

Submitted by: Frank Insana

Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.

Submitted by: George Valentinel

Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.

Submitted by: kathleen

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