Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.

Submitted by: Haider

Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.

Submitted by: Freddy Henry

The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

Submitted by: pierre castro

The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!

Submitted by: Richo Chango

One day the thunderbolt will hit you, and if you survive that you’ll make the dumb mistake of getting married.

Submitted by: Woody

“Marriage is like a work; it’s routinary to serve your partner everyday.”

Submitted by: Lady Cristel Tesorero Macasaet

Congrats, you’re married but for how long again???

Submitted by: sammyguechiee

Man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Submitted by: Sarah

Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.

Submitted by: dsgidden

If marriages are made in heaven…
Then it’s obvious that someone up there doesn’t like us.

Submitted by: malcolm john

Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…

Submitted by: leirbag

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio

“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.


I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!

Submitted by: Ridhima Shukla

Marriage rocks! as in a rocky mountain…

Submitted by: estelle

Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.

Submitted by: Half Past Midnight

Marriage changes Everything!…..Suddenly your in Bed with A Relative!

Submitted by: Don D.

Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.

Submitted by: jocelyn

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo

Wife : What is the difference between complete and Finish?
Kapil : If you marry the right girl your life gets COMPLETE. and if you marry the wrong girl your life gets FINISHED

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Helen Rowland

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield

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