Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 7

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
– G. K. Chesterton

5

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

4

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

11

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– James Holt McGavran

6

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman

6

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

7

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

8

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
– Billy Connolly

4

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

5

Love is blind, marriage is the eye- opener.

7

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

10

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

11

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

3

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

10

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

5

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
– Evelyn Hendrickson

4

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
– Sam Kinison

4

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

4

A husband’s last words should always be ‘OK buy it’.

2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Gene Perret


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