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Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 7

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

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Marriages are made in heaven but they make hell on earth.

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An idea can change your life. A wife can change your idea.

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Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me.

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Wife is cute when she is mute.
Husband is honey when he gives money.

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Every time I find Mr. Right my husband scares him off.

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My wife swept me off my feet when we first met now all she does is tell me to lift my feet so she can sweep!

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Your child is as you raise him. And your husband as you train him.

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When husband does something crazy > wife gets angry > husband apologizes.

When wife does something crazy > husband gets angry > wife gets angrier > husband apologizes.

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Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.

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Man + married + divorced + married again = stupid to the 3rd power

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Isn’t it weird that before you have children, people warn you that they can be expensive and sometimes difficult? Why didn’t I ever get warned about marriage?

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The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
– Oscar Wilde

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Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.

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If a marriage is supposed to be 50-50, why isn’t it okay for the husband to raise the commode seat and the wife to lower it?

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Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
– Gene Perret

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Wife : What is the difference between complete and Finish?
Kapil : If you marry the right girl your life gets COMPLETE. and if you marry the wrong girl your life gets FINISHED

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9 out of 10 men are cheating on their wife, and there is one more who is still hesitating.

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The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
– Erma Bombeck

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