Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

Submitted by: Siddharth Manchanda

Marriage is far more complicated than quantum physics.

Submitted by: William Mocca

The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!

Submitted by: Richo Chango

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Submitted by: Amrik Singh

Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!

Submitted by: Bob Bedford

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!!!!!

Submitted by: Ralph ABK6

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Submitted by: Darkside

Marriage is a union of give and take. He gives, She takes.

Submitted by: CRILLBO

Marriage. Man’s worst nightmare.

Submitted by: Malik

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Submitted by: John

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake

Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Submitted by: supriya

Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!

Submitted by: Ridhima Shukla

Husbands? Just two words: “Yes, dear.”

Submitted by: Nicole

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Submitted by: Freddy

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen

Marriage turns night owls into homing pigeons.

Submitted by: ritesh

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get in it, it ain’t so hot.

Submitted by: Claybuddy

Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.

Submitted by: Half Past Midnight

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