Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings - Page 7

4

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

9

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard

5

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

4

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

5

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

5

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

4

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- Henny Youngman

5

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton

4

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
- Patrick Murray

3

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
- Robert Frost

4

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

11

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran

6

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henry Youngman

5

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

6

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

3

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

4

A husband’s last words should always be ‘OK buy it’.

2

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
- Charles Bukowski

1

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

5

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.
- Gene Perret


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