Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 8

The definition of True Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.

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Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…

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A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.

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The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”.
Pierre & Marysa

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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
– Phyllis Diller

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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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They say marriage is life, they also say life ain’t fair.

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When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
– Helen Rowland

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Women marry for prosperity, development and security whereas men marry for enjoyment, destruction and insecurity.

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Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
– Helen Rowland

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Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.

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When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.

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A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

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If marriages are made in heaven…
Then it’s obvious that someone up there doesn’t like us.

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Kapil : How is your wife?
Shahrukh : An angel from heaven. And yours?
Kapil : Still Alive.

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When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
– Helen Rowland

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I now truly believe “happily married” is an oxymoron.

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Marriage rocks! as in a rocky mountain…

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