Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…

Submitted by: leirbag

A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.

Submitted by: DaVanDaHooSio

“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”.
His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”.
He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.


I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!

Submitted by: Ridhima Shukla

Marriage rocks! as in a rocky mountain…

Submitted by: estelle

Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.

Submitted by: Half Past Midnight

Marriage changes Everything!…..Suddenly your in Bed with A Relative!

Submitted by: Don D.

Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.

Submitted by: jocelyn

A married man is like a dead bird, his goose is cooked.

Submitted by: ElLarRo

Wife : What is the difference between complete and Finish?
Kapil : If you marry the right girl your life gets COMPLETE. and if you marry the wrong girl your life gets FINISHED

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Helen Rowland

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield

If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting.

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote