Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 9

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
– Navjot Sidhu

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Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.

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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!

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Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get in it, it ain’t so hot.

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If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting.
– Colette

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Wife: Worries Invited For Ever

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Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.

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My wife says I never listen to her. (Or something like that)

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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

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Kapil : If anything happens to me during operation, You get married to the doctor.
Wife: Why?
Kapil : It’s the only way to take a good revenge.

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Falling in love is a beautiful experience; Marriage is hitting the rock bottom reality.

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Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.

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A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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Marriage is, above all else, the leading cause of divorce.

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Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!

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Wife: A woman who marries a man for what he is then, tries to change him into what/how she wants him to be!

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I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
– Charles Bukowski

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