With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful. – Navjot Sidhu
Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. – Rodney Dangerfield
The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get in it, it ain’t so hot.
If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting. – Colette
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever
Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.
My wife says I never listen to her. (Or something like that)
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Kapil : If anything happens to me during operation, You get married to the doctor. Wife: Why? Kapil : It’s the only way to take a good revenge.
Falling in love is a beautiful experience; Marriage is hitting the rock bottom reality.
Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.
A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is, above all else, the leading cause of divorce.
Marriage is a place where two people have to live together for the rest of their lives…or at least until they get divorced!
Wife: A woman who marries a man for what he is then, tries to change him into what/how she wants him to be!
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life. – Charles Bukowski
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