Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars… Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.

Submitted by: eve

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

Submitted by: brooke

The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!

Submitted by: Dar Sapkaroski

Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.

Submitted by: Tys

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends with the same boss.

Submitted by: hajira

If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton

If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.

Submitted by: Michaela Cx

Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Submitted by: Archita

There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

Submitted by: Crash

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

Submitted by: lynelle

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn

God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.

Submitted by: Laurna
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Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou

If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :

Submitted by: Ryleeeee

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne

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