Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!

Submitted by: Only meeeeeeee

Always remember:
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“She has to.”
But
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“He has two.”

Submitted by: rodger

Men only have two faults, everything they say and everything they do.

Submitted by: talia shire

Women would rather be beautiful than smart only because men can see way better than they can think.

Submitted by: b breezy

Always go for a beautiful, intelligent & loving boy. But make sure the three boys don’t meet each other.

Submitted by: Anjuu

Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars… Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.

Submitted by: eve

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

Submitted by: brooke

The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!

Submitted by: Dar Sapkaroski

Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.

Submitted by: Tys
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It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends with the same boss.

Submitted by: hajira

If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton

If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.

Submitted by: Michaela Cx

Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

Submitted by: lynelle

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Submitted by: Archita

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

Submitted by: Crash

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine

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