Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.
All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!
Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.
Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.
Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.
If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :
Don’t expect a woman that has no money to think negative And never expect a man loaded with cash to think positive.
They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.
When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“She has to.”
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“He has two.”
If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.
Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!
Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.
One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…
Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns…ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?
If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.
I never understood why we call men “pigs” and “dogs”…pigs are smart and dogs are loyal.
Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars… Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.
Always go for a beautiful, intelligent & loving boy. But make sure the three boys don’t meet each other.
The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!
If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.
He’s a good man – he doesn’t flirt, drink, smoke or gamble and his children are adopted.
What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”
The ideal man goes home early, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t exist.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.