Funny Men Quotes and Sayings
Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars… Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.
The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!
Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends with the same boss.
If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?
One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.
If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.
Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.
Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner
Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.
God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.
Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.