Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.

Submitted by: Laurna

Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou

If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :

Submitted by: Ryleeeee

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray
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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

They say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a Man healty, wealthy and wise”, Well I’m not too sure if its entirely true, because I have never seen a healthy, wealthy and wise man.

Submitted by: Adity

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter

There are two kind of men who don’t understand women: singles and husbands.
Wise woman always support there husbands career, they know there investing in a higher- future- alimony.
Having more than one wife is bigamy, having more than one husband is insanity!

Submitted by: Angel-100%NL-

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

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