Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

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God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.

Submitted by: Laurna

Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

Submitted by: lynelle

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray

If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :

Submitted by: Ryleeeee

They say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a Man healty, wealthy and wise”, Well I’m not too sure if its entirely true, because I have never seen a healthy, wealthy and wise man.

Submitted by: Adity

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

There are two kind of men who don’t understand women: singles and husbands.
Wise woman always support there husbands career, they know there investing in a higher- future- alimony.
Having more than one wife is bigamy, having more than one husband is insanity!

Submitted by: Angel-100%NL-

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Things you’ll never hear a man say…

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If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

Submitted by: alayna

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
– Dino Levi


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