Funny Men Quotes | Hilarious Sayings about Men - Page 3

There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

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God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.

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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

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Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

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If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

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Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

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Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

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Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

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If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :

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They say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a Man healty, wealthy and wise”, Well I’m not too sure if its entirely true, because I have never seen a healthy, wealthy and wise man.

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A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
– Elayne Boosler

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The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

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Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

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Things you’ll never hear a man say…

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