Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”
If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles
Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.
One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.
Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.
Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Gloria Steinem
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler
A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
- Lana Turner
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
- Rita Rudner
Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Rene Descartes
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.