Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

33

If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

10

When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

Submitted by: carrie
9

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

6

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

12

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

6

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes

15

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth
6

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray
20

Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou
5

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula
22

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati
50

What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”

Submitted by: Purple Gorilla
33

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine
10

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn
16

If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

Submitted by: alayna
17

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

50

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton
12

Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

Submitted by: John Kalumbu
16

A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

Submitted by: NIKILA
27

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray
5

Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.

Submitted by: taylor and cameron
93

Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.

Submitted by: Tys

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