Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

5

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes

5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

33

If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha
10

When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

Submitted by: carrie
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

6

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

18

Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou
14

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth
12

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

9

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

6

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray
5

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula
22

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati
50

What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”

Submitted by: Purple Gorilla
4

Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.

Submitted by: taylor and cameron
33

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine
16

If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

Submitted by: alayna
17

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

10

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn
50

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton
16

A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

Submitted by: NIKILA
12

Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

Submitted by: John Kalumbu
27

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray
6

Men don’t take direction very well. But eventually when they realize the direction was correct they take all the credit.

Submitted by: Hunter

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