Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

25

There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

Submitted by: Crash
5

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes

33

If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha
6

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

18

Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou
4

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula
12

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

10

When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

Submitted by: carrie
6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

14

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth
8

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

4

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne
50

What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”

Submitted by: Purple Gorilla
33

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine
22

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati
4

Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.

Submitted by: taylor and cameron
16

If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

Submitted by: alayna
15

A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

Submitted by: NIKILA
16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

6

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray
50

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton
7

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx

12

Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

Submitted by: John Kalumbu

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