Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason
If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
– Rita Rudner
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes
Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.
We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.
Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!
What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”
Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.
Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.
If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.
Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.
A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.
Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.
Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.