Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3


Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.


Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason


If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?

Submitted by: Sasha

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Rene Descartes


Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Submitted by: gyou

There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

Submitted by: Crash

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
- Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne

When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

Submitted by: carrie

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner


Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.


Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Gloria Steinem


What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”

Submitted by: Purple Gorilla

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.


A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

Submitted by: NIKILA

Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.

Submitted by: catherine

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
- Suze Orman


Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!

Submitted by: swati

If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

Submitted by: alayna

One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.

Submitted by: Janine Sutton

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray

Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

Submitted by: John Kalumbu

Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.

Submitted by: taylor and cameron

Copyright © 2006-2014 - All rights reserved.

Like us!