Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason
There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes
If they can send man to the moon why can’t they send them all?
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem
When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
– Rita Rudner
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.
What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”
Most men think monogamy is what dining room tables are made of.
Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!
Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.
If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.
A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.
One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
– Groucho Marx
Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.