Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.
Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.
Men are the head of the family , Women are the neck ,they can turn the head wherever they please.
One thing all men need to know: Its cheaper to keep her.
When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.
Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys
What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!
MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.
A man woke up in the morning with a headache and saw a rose, an Aspirin, water and a note on the bed side table written on it: “Breakfast is on the table I am off to the store”.
When he went down stairs he saw his son and asked him what happened last night.
His son said “Well you came home drunk and when mom tried to kiss you, you yelled “Get off me lady I am married!”
Getting drunk: $65
Calling a cab when you’re too drunk: $21.50.
Saying the right things at the right time: Priceless.
Men are like chocolate bars…they’re sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips.
Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
- George Carlin
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
- Bill Maher
So many men so little asprin.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.