Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.

Men are the head of the family , Women are the neck ,they can turn the head wherever they please.

When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.

What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!

A man woke up in the morning with a headache and saw a rose, an Aspirin, water and a note on the bed side table written on it: “Breakfast is on the table I am off to the store”.
When he went down stairs he saw his son and asked him what happened last night.
His son said “Well you came home drunk and when mom tried to kiss you, you yelled “Get off me lady I am married!”
Getting drunk: $65
Calling a cab when you’re too drunk: $21.50.
Saying the right things at the right time: Priceless.

Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
- George Carlin

So many men so little asprin.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.