Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
- Groucho Marx
Why don’t men get Mad Cow Disease?
Because they’re all pigs.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
Men don’t take direction very well. But eventually when they realize the direction was correct they take all the credit.
God made men because every good thing needs a blue print.
All men are dogs, the difference is the barking rate!
There are two kind of men who don’t understand women: singles and husbands.
Wise woman always support there husbands career, they know there investing in a higher- future- alimony.
Having more than one wife is bigamy, having more than one husband is insanity!
A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.
Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.
They say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a Man healty, wealthy and wise”, Well I’m not too sure if its entirely true, because I have never seen a healthy, wealthy and wise man.
If human beings originated from monkeys, why do men act like dogs???
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
- Rita Rudner
Dogs should not be compared to men, they are much better.
Things you’ll never hear a man say…
He suffers from delusions of grandeur; nevertheless he is truly grand!
Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!
All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!
A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!
Don’t expect a woman that has no money to think negative And never expect a man loaded with cash to think positive.
Men are like purses. Cute, full of sh*t and replaceable.:)
Men are stupid, if you forget this just give it a min, they’ll remind you again.
I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
- Will Smith
I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap bag and dragged through mountains.
If not for women we won’t know sin. If not for eve, adam will still be on point.