Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
– Groucho Marx
Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes
Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.
A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.
Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!
Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.
Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.
Dogs should not be compared to men, they are much better.
Men don’t take direction very well. But eventually when they realize the direction was correct they take all the credit.
All men are dogs, the difference is the barking rate!
If human beings originated from monkeys, why do men act like dogs???
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
– Rita Rudner
He’s a good man – he doesn’t flirt, drink, smoke or gamble and his children are adopted.
All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!
If not for women we won’t know sin. If not for eve, adam will still be on point.