Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 5

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Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.

Submitted by: mareniek

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula

A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.

Submitted by: Kojo

Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!

Submitted by: Amy

Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.

Submitted by: taylor and cameron

Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.

Submitted by: Valerie. Tan burden

Dogs should not be compared to men, they are much better.

Submitted by: Rachel

Men don’t take direction very well. But eventually when they realize the direction was correct they take all the credit.

Submitted by: Hunter

All men are dogs, the difference is the barking rate!

Submitted by: vanne$$a

If human beings originated from monkeys, why do men act like dogs???

Submitted by: Jay Holmes Jr.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner

He’s a good man – he doesn’t flirt, drink, smoke or gamble and his children are adopted.

Submitted by: Jen Smook

All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!

Submitted by: Bob

If not for women we won’t know sin. If not for eve, adam will still be on point.

Submitted by: weezy

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