Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Gloria Steinem
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
- Rita Rudner
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
- Erica Jong
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen
A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
- Lana Turner
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles
If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
- Dino Levi
Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Rene Descartes
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner