Funny Men Quotes | Hilarious Sayings about Men - Page 5

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
– Tim Allen

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We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

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Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.

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Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.

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Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
– Maryon Pearson

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Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

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Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

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To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
– Rita Rudner

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Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about things women remember.
– Albert Einstein

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When God created man she was only joking.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner

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Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

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Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!

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Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

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All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!

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A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.

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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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All men are dogs, the difference is the barking rate!

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