Funny Women Quotes and Sayings
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
– Phyllis Diller
Fastest ways of communication, telephone, television, tell-a-woman.
What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
– Jerry Seinfeld
I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife.
I never knew what hard work was until I tried to please a woman.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
– Louis C.K.
Getting in an argument with a woman is like being arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
– Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
– Chris Rock
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.
I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman