Funny Women Quotes | Witty Sayings about Women

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
– George Carlin

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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman

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Women: Scientifically proven to be right even when they’re wrong.

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If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other.

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Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

1

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

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You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

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God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advise from Eve how to make Adam.

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A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin

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Women Are Like Hurricanes… When They Come, They’re Loud… When They’re Gone, So Is The House, The Dog And The Car.

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One day, a long long time ago, there was a woman who didn’t complain, criticize, or nag…but like I said, it was a long long time ago and just for a day!

1

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

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Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

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When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

2

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

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Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

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Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

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