Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

The fastest-growing communication is tell-a-woman.

Submitted by: Nakeeb Ilyasu

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller

Fastest ways of communication, telephone, television, tell-a-woman.

Submitted by: phantom

What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
Jerry Seinfeld

I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife.

Submitted by: Maduwa Thabo

I never knew what hard work was until I tried to please a woman.

Submitted by: Nicholas Ohl

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
Louis C.K.

Getting in an argument with a woman is like being arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock


Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.

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