Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
– Sigmund Freud
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner
When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen
Only a woman can make a man feel wrong, when he does good.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
– Rita Rudner
What would be men without women?
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.
I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)
When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.