Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
– Sigmund Freud
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen
Only a woman can make a man feel wrong, when he does good.
When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.
Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
– Rita Rudner
What would be men without women?
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.
Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!
For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx