Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

5

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

5

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner

5

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.

37

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Submitted by: Ronak
7

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Rudolph Valentino

20

Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)

Submitted by: nikhil
6

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

35

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

Submitted by: Simon
28

Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

Submitted by: kimberly
11

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

2

For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

97

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

Submitted by: whats it to ya
12

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

13

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

6

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers

8

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans

7

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe

20

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

6

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

13

Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.

28

A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.

Submitted by: mysteeq-t
28

There are two ways to rule a women and no body knows them..

Submitted by: littlesecret
15

The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.

Submitted by: shady
7

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

18

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Submitted by: ANON

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