Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

5

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
- Rita Rudner

4

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
- James Thurber

12

Only a woman can make a man feel wrong, when he does good.

Submitted by: James
1

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller

5

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

13

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

4

Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud

10

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
- Tim Allen

5

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Joan Rivers

5

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

5

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
- Gilda Radner

89

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

Submitted by: whats it to ya
11

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

5

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
- Edgar Watson Howe

13

What would be men without women?
Rich

Submitted by: Prateek
6

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Submitted by: ANON
5

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

35

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

Submitted by: Simon
20

Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)

Submitted by: nikhil
16

When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!

Submitted by: Lee
3

What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.

Submitted by: Dana Peddicord
12

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

7

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
- Dame Edith Evans

24

A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.

Submitted by: mysteeq-t
6

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx


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