Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

4

Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
– Sigmund Freud

1

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
– Phyllis Diller

5

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner

13

Only a woman can make a man feel wrong, when he does good.

Submitted by: James
5

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

5

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.

5

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers

10

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

5

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe

90

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

Submitted by: whats it to ya
11

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

11

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

5

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

6

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

22

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Submitted by: Ronak
35

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

Submitted by: Simon
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

20

Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)

Submitted by: nikhil
1

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You can tell a lot about a...

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17

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben
14

What would be men without women?
Rich

Submitted by: Prateek
11

Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.

16

When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!

Submitted by: Lee
24

A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.

Submitted by: mysteeq-t
6

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx


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