Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
– Phyllis Diller
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
– Sigmund Freud
When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe
What would be men without women?
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)
When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!