Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

9

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
- Tim Allen

1

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller

5

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

12

Only a woman can make a man feel wrong, when he does good.

Submitted by: James
4

Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud

4

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
- James Thurber

5

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
- Gilda Radner

5

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

89

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

Submitted by: whats it to ya
12

What would be men without women?
Rich

Submitted by: Prateek
5

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Joan Rivers

6

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
- Dame Edith Evans

5

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

5

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

35

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

Submitted by: Simon
11

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

12

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

20

Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)

Submitted by: nikhil
12

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

23

A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.

Submitted by: mysteeq-t
16

When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!

Submitted by: Lee
26

There are two ways to rule a women and no body knows them..

Submitted by: littlesecret
6

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
- Raymond Chandler

6

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
- Sean Williamson

6

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx


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