Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
– Phyllis Diller
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe
Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
– Rita Rudner
What would be men without women?
Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me happier still…:)
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman
I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen
Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans
Women are an alien race set down among us.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx
When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!
For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..