Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
- W. C. Fields
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
- Rita Rudner
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
- Mae West
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
- Gilda Radner
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
- Dame Edith Evans
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
- Raymond Chandler
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women are like cars, the better it looks the higher it costs.
A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.