Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

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It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.

Submitted by: eyezwideopen

Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.

Submitted by: Baron

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You cannot win in a fight against...

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I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

Submitted by: Redneck

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock

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The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
“Yes Dear…”

Submitted by: Craig Christ

Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Rudolph Valentino

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Someday they’re going to call me “M’am”...

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Submitted by: sandra blackburn

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.
– Freya Stark


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