Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.

Submitted by: oviya

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter

It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.

Submitted by: eyezwideopen

Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

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There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.

Submitted by: Baron

I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

Submitted by: Redneck

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Submitted by: April

Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Rudolph Valentino

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Submitted by: sandra blackburn

The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”

Submitted by: DHARAM BANDWAR

The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
“Yes Dear…”

Submitted by: Craig Christ

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.

Submitted by: santosh

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