Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Women are an alien race set down among us.
Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
There are two ways to rule a women and no body knows them..
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.
The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields
A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.
Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..
Women are like cars, the better it looks the higher it costs.
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
– Oscar Wilde
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).