Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
- Rita Rudner
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
- W. C. Fields
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
- Mae West
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
- Gilda Radner
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
- Dame Edith Evans
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
- Raymond Chandler
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women are like cars, the better it looks the higher it costs.
A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller