Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

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For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

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Women are an alien race set down among us.

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Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

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You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You can tell a lot about a...

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When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans

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There are two ways to rule a women and no body knows them..

Submitted by: littlesecret
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Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

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The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.

Submitted by: shady
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When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

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From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

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What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.

Submitted by: Dana Peddicord
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Women are like cars, the better it looks the higher it costs.

Submitted by: K
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Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..

Submitted by: Turnip
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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

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A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right

Submitted by: abhinav
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A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.

Submitted by: prplraines
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Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

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One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

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There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.

Submitted by: Baron
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The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”

Submitted by: DHARAM BANDWAR
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Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Submitted by: April
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I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

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Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.

Submitted by: SamArm
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I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

Submitted by: Redneck

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