Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3

21

When it comes to men, women are like monkeys, they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another!

Submitted by: Lee
2

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
– Phyllis Diller

8

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx

8

Women are an alien race set down among us.

34

Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..

Submitted by: Turnip
31

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben
8

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

9

A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.

Submitted by: prplraines
9

Women are like cars, the better it looks the higher it costs.

Submitted by: K
9

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

9

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

18

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

10

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

16

The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
“Yes Dear…”

Submitted by: Craig Christ
19

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.

Submitted by: Baron
6

Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.

Submitted by: Danno
11

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

13

Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.

Submitted by: SamArm
7

Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.

Submitted by: ddbakes
12

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

21

I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

Submitted by: Redneck
11

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

23

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn
15

The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”

Submitted by: DHARAM BANDWAR
9

What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.

Submitted by: Dana Peddicord

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