Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
- Raymond Chandler
Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.
Women are an alien race set down among us.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
- W. C. Fields
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
- Suze Orman
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
- Mae West
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf
Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right
Why are girls?
A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
Women are a language men will never understand.