Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West
The best way to make a woman listen to you, direct your talk to another woman.
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
– Oscar Wilde
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
– Virginia Woolf
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Why are girls?
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Women are a language men will never understand.