Funny Women Quotes | Witty Sayings about Women - Page 4

Fastest ways of communication, telephone, television, tell-a-woman.

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I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

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A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

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Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
– Sigmund Freud

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The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
“Yes Dear…”

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To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Rudolph Valentino

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I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.

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I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner

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Women: The only creatures who can make a simple task like getting ready take longer than a NASA launch countdown.

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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

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One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
– Oscar Wilde

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I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife.

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Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

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A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right

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I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.

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Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.

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Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

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When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West

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Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.

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I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers

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