Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.
Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Only two things can change a woman’s mind:
1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.
A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
Batteries have a positive side.
Why shouldn’t woman have a drivers license?
Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.