Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Women are a language men will never understand.
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
Why are girls?
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
- Lillian Hellman
A woman look ten times more beautiful when she is sleeping, but only to her husband.:P
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
If you want to know a girl…praise her friends.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.
Never underestimate the power of nagging.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
Two most deadly weapons in the world: Women’s nagging and Women’s tears! Can make any man act like a tortoise, right into the shell. Don’t believe me, try it…he he he:P