Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Why are girls?
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Women are a language men will never understand.
I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.