Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it,
Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
- Lillian Hellman
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
A woman look ten times more beautiful when she is sleeping, but only to her husband.:P
If you want to know a girl…praise her friends.
Two most deadly weapons in the world: Women’s nagging and Women’s tears! Can make any man act like a tortoise, right into the shell. Don’t believe me, try it…he he he:P
Synonym of women must be mysterious.. Cos know one has ever been able to understand them…
Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
Batteries have a positive side.
Why shouldn’t woman have a drivers license?
Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.