Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
– Oscar Wilde
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it,
Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Why are girls?
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
– Virginia Woolf
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.
Women are a language men will never understand.
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.
Only two things can change a woman’s mind:
1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Never underestimate the power of nagging.
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman