Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why are girls?
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Women are a language men will never understand.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.