Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
The best way to always get the last word in any argument with your wife or girlfriend?
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Women are a language men will never understand.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
Why are girls?
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.
No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
- Lillian Hellman
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
A woman look ten times more beautiful when she is sleeping, but only to her husband.:P
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.