Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it,
Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
Why are girls?
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
- Lillian Hellman
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.
Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you look fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat?
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
A woman look ten times more beautiful when she is sleeping, but only to her husband.:P
If you want to know a girl…praise her friends.
Two most deadly weapons in the world: Women’s nagging and Women’s tears! Can make any man act like a tortoise, right into the shell. Don’t believe me, try it…he he he:P
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Synonym of women must be mysterious.. Cos know one has ever been able to understand them…
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
Batteries have a positive side.
Why shouldn’t woman have a drivers license?
Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.