Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 5
If a woman tells you that she is single by choice, its probably because no one has chosen her.
The two faces of a coin decides a woman’s mind. Head, they go for money. Tail, they go for money…
Women are like an email in your inbox, you cannot wait to open it, and when you open it, then you realize its a virus.
Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
Batteries have a positive side.
Why shouldn’t woman have a drivers license?
Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]
Men are from earth, Women are from earth, deal with it!!
If Women were Cars, then the men would save more fuel…nobody wants a car that decides where to go, when to go and for how long.
Avoid girls save fuel
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women: Scientifically proven to be right even when they’re wrong.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
– Rita Rudner
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
Women are an alien race set down among us.
Women… Can’t live with ‘em… Can’t shoot ‘em.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
– Gilda Radner
The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.
– Freya Stark
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans