Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz

Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.

Submitted by: Allen

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
Oscar Wilde

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Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it,
Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!

Submitted by: Richard

What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.

Submitted by: Dana Peddicord

Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.

Submitted by: george mattson

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.

Submitted by: ddbakes

Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.

Submitted by: robert

If you want to know a girl…praise her friends.

Submitted by: vasuroshan

Synonym of women must be mysterious.. Cos know one has ever been able to understand them…

Submitted by: sarju

Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.

Submitted by: Danno

Women are a language men will never understand.

Submitted by: leon

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