Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Women are an alien race set down among us.

Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.

Submitted by: bro

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz

Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.

Submitted by: Allen

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.

Submitted by: george mattson

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

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