Funny Women Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

5

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers

11

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

3

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
– Lord Byron

10

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
Bill Cosby

4

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

6

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

5

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

7

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

8

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

5

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe

7

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

5

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Rudolph Valentino

5

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

10

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

3

A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.

3

No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
– Lillian Hellman

2

For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

4

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
Virginia Woolf

1

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
– Phyllis Diller


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