Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
Lord Byron

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz
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Women are an alien race set down among us.

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

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I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.

Submitted by: Allen

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
Oscar Wilde

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

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