Funny Women Quotes and Sayings
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
– Groucho Marx
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West
Women are an alien race set down among us.
There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber
From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields
Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson
Only two things can change a woman’s mind:
1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.
Men are from mars, women are from “Do I look fat in these?”.
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
– Oscar Wilde
I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman