Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
Lord Byron

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Women are an alien race set down among us.

There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.

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From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
– Raymond Chandler

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty- eight and forty.
– James Thurber

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no- one likes to have to keep one.
– W. C. Fields

Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Sean Williamson

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

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Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz

Going through the Alligator Alley and looking at these gators reminds me of my Ex. All mouths and no ears.

Submitted by: Allen

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
Oscar Wilde

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

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