0
How many times,
I should turn a blind eye to those reminiscence Just to
catch the hour of the day.
How many times,
I should make myself happy with just those moments passed by-
The mere thought of which makes me yearn for more.
How many times,
I need to conquer down my own fears- just to look ahead and
Never turn back.
How many times,
I need to learn to look beyond the darkest hour into the realms
Of bliss and sense of fulfillment.
How many times,
I need to turn around for the daunted tasks,
I had dreamt of and left around.
How many times,
I need to look back for those mistful eyes that I’d left to cry-
Not knowing how to console them ever.
How many times,
I need to look out for a chance, that in spite of being devoid- still has the roots
Deeply ingrained in myself.
How many times,
I need to pen down, the same verse repeated over and again- going down into a
Blind ally from which nobody has escaped yet- I shall never know.
0
Happy Days
have gone away.
Sad Days
are like days today.
Memories from the past
are coming back so fast.
I wish to not remember,
but looks like they’ll be here forever.
0
I miss my kids and every day
it gets harder to stand.
I wake up and search my life
and search the land.
What to do,
What to do….
I’m incomplete with out you.
My sons went their separate ways, and
yes I know you are grown.
But momma will always love you.
Even though you all are on your own.
Just know that wherever you are.
Mom is sitting here thinking of you,
Whether you are near or far.
I will always love you and that
feeling will never part.
That is my promise to you.
That comes straight from my heart.
0
All I want is to be happy
I don’t know if I know how
To be happy anymore.
You took all that from me.
You made me sad.
You made me mad.
I fake this smile everyday
To make the people
I love happy.
All I want is to be happy.
Just get out of my life,
so I can make that happen.
0
If hate my life
If you could change it
Would you?
All the pain, suffering
It hurts me
Haunts me
i should leave but i can’t
Too scared to keep living
If i died would you remember me,
For the happy, nice girl i was
Would you remember me?
+1
There’s not a day that goes by,
where I don’t think about you.
Every time I do, I cry.
Four years ago this day,
… you said goodbye to us all,
In the blink of an eye.
Wish you were here,
to comfort me,
and dry my tears.
0
You once were here… But now you’re gone…
You were not here for very long…..
The best part of me… My love… My joy… The very heart of me
Taken from me in a moment…..A moment….
A moment is all I had…A moment is all that I have
The questions..Why you?..Why not me?…WHY!!
There are no answers…There is no “Why”
Flashes in time…A smile…A laugh…A word…
This is all I have of you now…
Locked up in a special place in my mind..forever young..
…You once were here…But now you’re gone….
….I miss you son…
0
Late at night as i lay in bed,
As many thoughts rush through my head,
I think about the weak and strong,
… I question all the right from wrong,
I wonder who could i really be,
I think of what’s gotten into me,
I hang out with the entirely wrong crowd,
All these thoughts i am thinking out loud,
What is this life i am in?
My head is now beginning to spin,
I pace my room without a sound,
Walking in circles round and round,
All these questions i have to ask,
I can never finish a single task,
My heart is beating really fast,
Asking myself will this really last
Nothing i do feels like it’s right,
Even though i am very bright,
Why does it feel this way?,
The exact same thing every day
So here i am thinking in my head,
All the negative things i’ve said,
This is not the real me,
It definitely cannot be
Sitting here thinking for a while,
I find myself beginning to smile,
All these emotions i have to express,
Letting go of all this stress,
Sitting here in the rain,
Feeling all of this pain,
Like a flower i begin to wilt,
Holding onto all this guilt,
While falling asleep i begin to cry,
Thinking about how hard i try,
As I am beginning to find my way,
I think who am i today
Thinking about all the nights i cried,
Holding all these feelings inside,
Now getting all them off my chest,
Doing good, only hoping for the best,
My life is like a story told,
My heart is something that i hold,
It’s not something on my sleeve,
As many things as i achieve
I think about all the positive things,
Hurt feels like a big bee sting,
Life isn’t something I can find in a tree,
It’s only what’s inside of me
Late at night as i lay in bed,
All these thoughts rushing through my head,
I no longer think about the weak and strong,
Nor do i question the right from wrong.
0
Teddy bear teddy bear
Can I lean on you?
I’m hurt and confused,
Tell me what to do.
Its been a long time since I confided in you.
In my advancing age,
I though I no longer needed you,
So I put you away,
Stuffed you in a corner,
And tried to go on with my life,
Which got harder.
You sat in a corner,
For years on end.
You watched my heart break then mend.
You used to comfort me when ever I needed it.
When I was angry you took the hit.
But my problems are bigger now,
And your all worn down.
I no longer smile,
My lips were a constant frown.
So teddy bear, teddy bear,
Can I lean I on you?
Work your magic,
And tell me what to do.
0
As i wait in the darkness
nobody around
i think to myself
why am i here
why am i not over there where it is bright
so i get up and go towards the brightness
but the shadows pull me back into the darkness
i walk away but the shadows follow me
i wish to be light one day but until then
i will remain forever silently in the shadows.
0
MEMORY IS ALL I HAVE…
Life is cruel
Even when you have
The winter’s worth gruel.
Unable to bear the quaking chill
Innocents fall asleep
Never to see the day again…
You are one of them now…
Why? I ask: why did you not
Tell me that you were going?
Why did you try to run alone?
Here with me when you had a home?
Why did you leave me?
Did you not think
How it would shatter my heart
To see you lying there–so still,so cold…
You knew me when others didn’t
You came to me when others ran…
Then, why did you befriend the Black hand?
Why did you give up?
You always were a survivor…
What happened????
On my lap you used to play
Never caring about the day…
Now, your memory is all i have…
You have gone beyond
And i know i’ll never see you again
And that is such a pain…
Memory is all i have…
0
I am everywhere
But do they ever hear the thoughts i’m always speaking?
A voice is what i am
A sound that’s not so grand
I’m this because i’m nothing
A dream left to be forgotten
A memory left to be erased
A heart made to be broken
A voice never to be heard
I’m these because i’m nothing
My emotions have rotted
A puppet left to learn
I’m left a person with no purpose
I can not express how i feel to you
I can not tell what’s my mood
I have finally gone mute
My voice has no need for sound
Ill forever be empty for reason of being nothing .
0
One deep breath and it will ease the pain
Two deep breaths and the pain will be gone
Close your eyes
See the pain is no longer there
Do you dare to open your eyes again?
The pain may recreate its self.
One eye open and the splinters of agony are there
Two eyes open and the sting is too much to sustain
Never should have opened your eyes.
+1
She takes the risk,
She cuts her wrist.
She hates her friends
Her wounds will never mend
She wears a fake smile
She used the typical style
Through gritted teeth
She hides what’s beneath
She gives up
She’s locked up
She cries herself to sleep
Never ceasing to weep
She cuts again
But not like back then
She cuts even deeper
And kills herself in anger
0
I CRY SO HARD
I WET MY PILLOW WIT TEARS
LIKE A WATER DROPLET
AM SO WEAK LIKE A BIRD BEEN BEATEN
BY AN ANTAGONIST LOVE
WISH I COULD GET ANOTHER CHANCE
SO SHOW AM A CHANGED.
0
Pain was the last thing I felt,
The day of the crash,
Tubes and wires were all I saw,
The day I awoke in the hospital,
Weeping and sobs were the last thing I heard
The day I died,
A flash of light wass all I saw,
The day I went to Heaven,
Unexplainable joy is all I can remember,
Of the day I met my maker.
0
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL
THAT I ALWAYS LOST OF LOVE?
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU JUST TO JUDGE ME
I ALWAYS ASK GOD
WHY DO HE CREATED ME SUCH LIKE THIS
NO ONE LOVES ME
NO ONE WANTS TO BE WITH ME
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL
FOR YOU NOT TO LEARN TO LOVE ME TOO
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL
THAT DO NOT DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU
I ALWAYS DREAM OF SOMEBODY
WHO CAN ACCEPT ME
THE REAL ME AND WHO I AM
BUT UNFORTUNATELY NONE HAS COME
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL
THAT DESERVE HEAVENLY HAPPINESS
AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL,
NO, I AM IN MY OWN WAY.
0
This time your walking to the room with daddies 9 mil.
Determined this time your life you will kill.
saying your goodbyes with cursing and regrets,
Tears running down your face your willing to bet,
Bet that we will be sorry for not caring today,
And in the end we will be the ones to pay.
You slam the door with the smell of liquor on your breath,
With a screechy voice you wish upon us death.
Standing in silence, shocked of what we heard,
With all the medication, we thought mommy was cured.
Another moment goes by, and we step closer to the room.
Than all of a sudden we hear a big BOOM!
We scream in fright and call 9-1-1.
The door is locked, what has she done?!
The ambulance came and put her on a rolling bed,
As she left the house a white sheet covered her head.
What will we do when daddy gets home?
He too will be mad and leave us alone….
-1
As I stand here
watching life pass
you stand there
and don’t even ask
why i am all alone
in a world full of people
you don’t understand
that i am not treated equal.
0
My smile is just a show
It covers up my heart
My laugh is just a fake
Inside im tearing apart
No one will ever know
Why I feel this way
No one will ever know
What I do not say
Why is it so hard
To live happily
I cant go one day
Without someone hurting me
Everyone says
That ill be okay
But the truth is
The pain never goes away
