Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Jinny

Silence is golden.
duct tape is silver.

Submitted by: tiaa.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Sarcastic Quote: Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they...

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Submitted by: =)=)=)=)

People say that laughter is the best medicine…
your face must be curing the world!

Submitted by: sarcasticness

That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

Submitted by: Robina

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Submitted by: Franzeska

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

Sarcastic Quote: I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But...

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Submitted by: Bubbles

You go girl! And don’t come back.

Submitted by: Hanni

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Submitted by: jia-di

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

Submitted by: Maximum_Ride_Beth

Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

Submitted by: levannah

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Submitted by: J smith

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

Submitted by: Emily

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

Submitted by: Anei

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Submitted by: Idann

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

Submitted by: Chantel

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

Submitted by: qinyuan

I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.

Submitted by: tim

You: Do you want a piece of my mind?!
Me: Oh no, I couldn’t take the last piece.

Submitted by: Sarah

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Sarcastic Quote: Tell me… Is being stupid a profession...

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Submitted by: katx.

Question: Do you know who I am????
Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?

Submitted by: Lynette

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

Submitted by: Natimar Diaz

Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.

Submitted by: John Edwards

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Submitted by: OOPSI

If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

Submitted by: Rhyza

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos

See this hand?
It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning you.

Submitted by: Phuong

You: OMG did you just fall.?
Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!

Submitted by: FranklyiDontCare

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