Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

88

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- Steven Wright

Submitted by: Jinny
102

Silence is golden.
duct tape is silver.

Submitted by: tiaa.
74

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Submitted by: =)=)=)=)
97

People say that laughter is the best medicine…
your face must be curing the world!

Submitted by: sarcasticness
96

That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

Submitted by: Robina
81

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Submitted by: Franzeska
97

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

Submitted by: Bubbles
104

You go girl! And don’t come back.

Submitted by: Hanni
78

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Submitted by: jia-di
157

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

Submitted by: Maximum_Ride_Beth
59

Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

Submitted by: levannah
40

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Submitted by: J smith
43

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

Submitted by: Emily
31

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

Submitted by: Anei
28

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Submitted by: Idann
33

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

Submitted by: Anonymous
63

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

Submitted by: Chantel
40

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

Submitted by: qinyuan
24

I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.

Submitted by: tim
23

You: Do you want a piece of my mind?!
Me: Oh no, I couldn’t take the last piece.

Submitted by: Sarah
33

Tell me .. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Submitted by: katx.
16

Question: Do you know who I am????
Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?

Submitted by: Lynette
23

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

Submitted by: Natimar Diaz
10

Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.

Submitted by: John Edwards
18

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Submitted by: OOPSI

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