I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
122. Mass Of Thumbswrote on 2 January, 2010
Vote: 126 54
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
123. Naomiwrote on 5 January, 2010
Vote: 58 82
There’s a hole in your head, would you like me to plug it so the rest of your brain doesn’t fall out?
124. Naomiwrote on 5 January, 2010
Vote: 95 57
Psychologist can’t fix stupid, apparently it’s not a disorder that is recognized.
125. emmygirlwrote on 7 January, 2010
Vote: 39 275
A boy walks up to a girl. She’s crying.
Boy: Looks to me like you need a shoulder to cry on…
Girl: Good, then I can blow my nose on your shirt too!
126. Rachhh.wrote on 9 January, 2010
Vote: 132 136
Person: Yeah that’s so funny.
You: Yeah that’s why everyone is laughing.
127. Connoisseur of Sarcasmwrote on 11 January, 2010
Vote: 88 405
There’s a very fine line between being sarcastic and being a callous jerk. Many, many people obviously have no idea where that line starts or stops. The best way to determine which is which is to imagine your words coming out of someone else’s mouth and imagine they’re being said about you. That should put things in perspective and help you not be someone you’d want to strangle if you were on the receiving end of your own “sarcasm”.
128. Idannwrote on 24 January, 2010
Vote: 359 23
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
129. KarinInPainwrote on 28 January, 2010
Vote: 90 107
So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”
130. dotunwrote on 29 January, 2010
Vote: 50 157
Peter: Don’t try sarcasm with me, I’ll know.
Paul: I can’t, you’re the king of sarcasm.
131. ThisOnesFunnywrote on 30 January, 2010
Vote: 126 66
One second….oh okay found it… here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…
132. Grouchier Marxwrote on 30 January, 2010
Vote: 169 28
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
133. vera lemonwrote on 7 February, 2010
Vote: 197 30
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
134. vera lemonwrote on 7 February, 2010
Vote: 187 32
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
135. jo-cwrote on 11 February, 2010
Vote: 325 48
>Attempting to give a damn…..
>Unable to give a damn…..
>Stopping…..
>Process failed!
[Damn not given]
136. jo-cwrote on 11 February, 2010
Vote: 150 35
WAIT…..I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
137. iyadwrote on 13 February, 2010
Vote: 114 28
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
138. yamwrote on 14 February, 2010
Vote: 50 37
You sound good every time you talk, and much better with your mouth closed.
139. Kurisutiiwrote on 23 February, 2010
Vote: 209 28
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
140. Bitemewrote on 24 February, 2010
Vote: 147 32
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
There’s a hole in your head, would you like me to plug it so the rest of your brain doesn’t fall out?
Psychologist can’t fix stupid, apparently it’s not a disorder that is recognized.
A boy walks up to a girl. She’s crying.
Boy: Looks to me like you need a shoulder to cry on…
Girl: Good, then I can blow my nose on your shirt too!
Person: Yeah that’s so funny.
You: Yeah that’s why everyone is laughing.
There’s a very fine line between being sarcastic and being a callous jerk. Many, many people obviously have no idea where that line starts or stops. The best way to determine which is which is to imagine your words coming out of someone else’s mouth and imagine they’re being said about you. That should put things in perspective and help you not be someone you’d want to strangle if you were on the receiving end of your own “sarcasm”.
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”
Peter: Don’t try sarcasm with me, I’ll know.
Paul: I can’t, you’re the king of sarcasm.
One second….oh okay found it… here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
>Attempting to give a damn…..
>Unable to give a damn…..
>Stopping…..
>Process failed!
[Damn not given]
WAIT…..I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
You sound good every time you talk, and much better with your mouth closed.
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!