When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
142. farid khanwrote on 26 February, 2010
Vote: 58 107
If you don’t have the money for air ticket borrow your neighbor’s carpet next time…
143. That one guywrote on 2 March, 2010
Vote: 51 194
You: Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Me: That was so funny that I forgot to laugh.
144. Tieszenwrote on 2 March, 2010
Vote: 37 93
Other Person: Sarcasm is a Dying Art.
Me (Looks person up and down): Not all of us can be Monet. You’re the perfect example!
Parent: Are you taking a tone with me?
Me: No, that’s your imagination
Other Person: Aren’t you sarcastic?
Me: Me? Never! You can leave now.
Me: You act like such a girl
Other Person: I AM a girl.
Me: Right. So, uh…really?
145. limadresowrote on 7 March, 2010
Vote: 32 101
Oooohhh…soooo sorry..you must be mistaking me for someone who cares…
146. SRwrote on 9 March, 2010
Vote: 178 27
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
147. OOPSIwrote on 11 March, 2010
Vote: 198 15
Find your patience before I lose mine.
148. Nataliswrote on 16 March, 2010
Vote: 142 32
A girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
149. Ishamaelwrote on 22 March, 2010
Vote: 92 31
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…..you look better that way.
150. Cool kid 101wrote on 24 March, 2010
Vote: 71 49
You almost made me cry but then you left.
151. wittwrote on 30 March, 2010
Vote: 150 57
Mom: You cant have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
152. timwrote on 30 March, 2010
Vote: 267 21
I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.
153. Daniellewrote on 30 March, 2010
Vote: 93 26
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
154. GKB PSYCHO.unitwrote on 5 April, 2010
Vote: 136 49
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
155. SRwrote on 6 April, 2010
Vote: 88 53
You : i know I’m just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised*
Me : awwh, don’t be sad, there are many more uglier people out there..
You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@
Me : =)
156. N413zwrote on 12 April, 2010
Vote: 71 27
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
157. Namewrote on 13 April, 2010
Vote: 83 43
Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
158. ProfessorChaoswrote on 13 April, 2010
Vote: 133 28
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
159. David Swrote on 14 April, 2010
Vote: 81 13
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.
When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
If you don’t have the money for air ticket borrow your neighbor’s carpet next time…
You: Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Me: That was so funny that I forgot to laugh.
Other Person: Sarcasm is a Dying Art.
Me (Looks person up and down): Not all of us can be Monet. You’re the perfect example!
Parent: Are you taking a tone with me?
Me: No, that’s your imagination
Other Person: Aren’t you sarcastic?
Me: Me? Never! You can leave now.
Me: You act like such a girl
Other Person: I AM a girl.
Me: Right. So, uh…really?
Oooohhh…soooo sorry..you must be mistaking me for someone who cares…
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
Find your patience before I lose mine.
A girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…..you look better that way.
You almost made me cry but then you left.
Mom: You cant have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
You : i know I’m just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised*
Me : awwh, don’t be sad, there are many more uglier people out there..
You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@
Me : =)
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.
Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.