1st Person: Did you fall? 2nd Person: Of course not! I just attacked the floor.
12 am call from a friend. Friend: Are you asleep? Me: Nope, I just like dancing at midnight while everyone is asleep.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
I was born in the dark but it wasn’t last night.
It’s always the last place you look for it… Of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it? I’m not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?
I’m married but it’s not serious.
Woman 1 – Do you like my new jeans? Woman 2 – wow yes… Do they come in women sizes?
Don’t talk while I am interrupting!
1st Person: I totally hate you!! 2nd Person: And I totally care!!
You were looking good from afar.. Now you’re far from looking good.
Her face makes me wanna learning boxing.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
Wow, it was nice meeting you! And if I ever see you again, it’ll be too soon.
Waitress: Would you like a table? Me: No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please!
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
I let you know when I start to care….Check back in about five years.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. – Oscar Wilde
She: My love close your eyes and tell me what you see. Me: Nothing. She: This is my life without you. Me: Now close your eyes and tell me what you see. She: Nothing. Me: This is what I feel for you :d
Person 1: Whatcha reading? Person 2: Words. Duh.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
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