Sarcastic Quotes | Sarcasm Sayings | Sarcastic Comments - Page 17

Let’s share, you’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: No. I dug my way up from hell.

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And who told you you were intelligent?????

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I had a slight headache, then you my friend, just turned it into a migraine. Thank you very much.

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Tell me about your problems again. ‘Cause I care SO much about your problems.

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Early to bed early to rise just means you didn’t get invited to the party.

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The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.

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Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

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If you’re too open- minded, your brains will fall out.
– Lawrence Ferlinghetti

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You: Hey you just insult me?
Me: Wow did you just figure that out?

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Don’t bother me. I’m trying to give a damn about what you just said.

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Person 1: Why are you so fat?
Person 2: I’m not fat. I am skinny, it’s just that because of all the fat you can’t see it.

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Okay…Tell me and I’ll pretend to care.

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I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce

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Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the Devil; for which reason I have, long since, as good as renounced it.
– Thomas Carlyle

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Person 1: Only few people can practice two arts simultaneously.
Person 2: That is why I practice three. :)

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Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.

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Sarcasm: curing the world one insult at a time.

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You: I’m Sick Of You and You’re Nonsense!
Me: Well Take Some Medicine.

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As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!

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