Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
Sarcasm kindles joy in us, releases frustration in a comic way.
Tell me about your problems again. ‘Cause I care SO much about your problems.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce
Person 1: Why does your kid keep getting zeroes on her test?
Person 2: I like teaching my children to be consistent. Inconsistency is the mother of insanity.
Person 1: You and inconsistency have a lot in common.
9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.
Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.
Have you heard about the discount for deodorant from Nivea?
So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”
Excuse me, and pardon my interruption, but would you mind considering helping me to find out what makes you so repulsive!
Sarcasm is my mother tongue.
You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it
I just got off the phone with Satan…he told me that he has a special seat in hell with your name on it.
Abusive Mom: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, I just wish you would get your next period in a shark tank
Abusive Dad: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, it’s just that if you were on fire I’d roast marshmallows.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Well, when life gives me lemons, I sit in front of a McDonald’s and throw them at pedestrians.
Guy: Hey don’t worry I can play dumb
Woman: Play dumb? You could manage the team!
Oh yea you look so pretty I can’t take it.
If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)
Would you care to join me?
Why, are you coming apart?
I wasn’t trying to insult you!! I’m just being sarcastic.