Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
I need you like a fish need a rain coat.
Inside the fitting room:
Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt?
Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir?
Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”
Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?
It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.
You’re in shape, bearing in mind that ’round’ is a shape…
I trip and knock over a book shelf.
Random person: “Smooth.”
Me: “Thank you, I try.”
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
Instant idiot, just add alcohol!
You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”