Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.

Submitted by: Sigmund

Inside the fitting room:
Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt?
Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir?
Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?

Submitted by: Ryan

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge

DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.

Submitted by: Amba Marie

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Submitted by: Madison

“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”

Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?

It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.

Submitted by: Mimia

You’re in shape, bearing in mind that ’round’ is a shape…

Submitted by: brn

I trip and knock over a book shelf.
Random person: “Smooth.”
Me: “Thank you, I try.”

Submitted by: yasmen

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
– Lawrence G. Lovasik

Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.

Submitted by: Xuan

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

Instant idiot, just add alcohol!

You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!

Submitted by: Morgan Decker

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