Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Waitress: Would you like a table?
Me: No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please!

Submitted by: Kiki

Bully: And what are you going to do about it?
Me: Nothing, but if you don’t do something about that attitude, you may get stuck.

Submitted by: Harry Fisher

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: No. I dug my way up from hell.

Submitted by: Christ

Don’t give up, girl! Keep chasing him! But I guess he runs away because you have a beautiful face in ugly people’s point of view.

Submitted by: Erza

1st Person: Did you fall?
2nd Person: Of course not! I just attacked the floor.

Submitted by: Winnie Cheptoris

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Submitted by: =)=)=)=)

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate

Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.

Submitted by: Rose

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

Submitted by: Bubbles

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Submitted by: katx.

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Submitted by: Angel Geo

There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?

Submitted by: Alex

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: shawnn

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