Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Don’t give up, girl! Keep chasing him! But I guess he runs away because you have a beautiful face in ugly people’s point of view.

Submitted by: Erza

1st Person: Did you fall?
2nd Person: Of course not! I just attacked the floor.

Submitted by: Winnie Cheptoris

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Submitted by: =)=)=)=)

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate

Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.

Submitted by: Rose

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

Submitted by: Bubbles

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Submitted by: katx.

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Submitted by: Angel Geo
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There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?

Submitted by: Alex

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: shawnn

Mom: Have you picked out what you’re wearing to school tomorrow?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: What is it?
Me: Clothes!

Submitted by: Ylime Eyaf Steehs

Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

Submitted by: Darian

I am not bad. I am just dangerously awful.

Submitted by: Tiela Selepe

Instant idiot, just add alcohol!

You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!

Submitted by: Morgan Decker

Have you heard about the discount for deodorant from Nivea?

Submitted by: Ema

No sh*t Sherlock!

Submitted by: Java the hut

If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

Submitted by: derek dsemre

Man, I sure do hate a bag of air with chips in it.

Submitted by: Iamunknown

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